Read This. Or Not.

You know, people are insane. It's the second reason in my long list of reasons why I'm terrified to ever have kids. Either my kid is going to be subjected to lunatics all of his/her life, or my kid will be the lunatic. Sadly, I'm not sure which one is more likely. I tend to think that I'm not one of the crazy people, but I'm pretty sure that's what a lot of crazy people say. The point is just that people are insane, and I imagine that they have a club with regular meetings and newsletters, and this man is the president.

Why do I sense so much anger? You're really selling yourself. Or not. From the get-go you are presenting yourself as incredibly conceited, implying that unworthy women are constantly vying for your affection. I just find that difficult to swallow. If you truly are so amazing, I can't imagine why you are refusing to share a photo of yourself with me. Furthermore, you don't even know me and you are treating me like a contestant on Singled Out. You are in NO position to tell me that I have to prove anything to you in order for you to throw some love at me. You contacted me, bud. Why don't you give me a reason to not delete this message? Also, don't throw things at me.

I also feel like you think you are very deep, but the insight you are dishing out is both rude and untrue. Honesty starts with what I really want? I can't define who or what I'm looking for into words? Wrong. Honesty starts with not lying. And I actually can define what I'm looking for using my words, which is why I filled out this dating profile. I imagine that in your crazy person club, the motto is something like "Clubs cannot be defined, they come from within. If you want to apply for membership, don't."

So, the most important thing about a relationship is spending time together, is it? What about compatability? Shared hobbies? A similar sense of humor? Communication? No, I suppose those don't matter as long as you spend crazy amounts of time together. Even if you are both miserable. You know, going by that logic you may as well kidnap your dream woman and hold her captive in your basement. She probably won't be thrilled at first, but after a few years she'll realize that the time spent in your basement being unhappy and resentful has blossomed into affection! She will exude maturity and selflessness and profess her undying love for you. Then, and only then, can you throw some love back at her.

Getting deleted starts with you.