I'm Real.

I've found that a lot of people on these dating sites specify that they are looking for someone real. I mean, I get what they are trying to say with that, I just think that it's a stupid way to phrase your desire to find an honest, sincere, ethical partner in life. Don't ask me if I'm real. I mean, are we having some sort of philosophical debate? If so, I'm going with Edgar Allen Poe and saying that it's all a dream within a dream. Are you testing my familiarity with J. Lo hits? If that is the case, then I will admit that perhaps "I'm Real" made an appearance on one or more mix tapes back in high school, and obviously it was the Ja Rule remix with all of the swear words, and yes my friends and I blasted that song while driving around town in an old brown Volvo, but I still judge you for bringing up the song, albeit a classic, in this online dating context.

In all fairness, guy, there's a really good chance that those boring, lame, cliche, try hard girls are being real. No one really strives for any of those qualities, so it seems unlikely that they are faking you out in any way by pretending to be boring, lame, etc. And I think I mentioned this in a previous blog post, but I have been referred to as an emotionless robot in the past, so you actually may not be very astute in thinking that I am the real girl you have been searching the internets for.

Let's check out another one!

I wonder if this guy's stupidity is in any way related to his heartworm? He also appears to be a stalker. I just feel like this profile is 50% stupid, 30% cliche, and 20% threatening. Being a real woman and not a robot, computer, roomba, or inflatable doll, my brain computes that as unattractive.

Deleted.