Saturday, June 2, 2012

Grand Slam.


If there's one thing that I really go nuts for it's when a guy uses sports lingo to express his strong sense of compatibility with me. I mean, when I reminisce about my exes, I frequently find myself throwing out phrases like "cheap shot", "running out the clock", and of course "shuttlecock". It's so rare to find a guy who really gets that.



Oh wow. He totally gets me! John, this is a serious homerun. Don't be bashful. How could I possibly worry about your grammar when you have presented me with sports terminology and a total disregard for what I eat?? Now, I haven't read 50 Shades of Grey, but I imagine it starts out JUST LIKE THIS.

My online profile does mention that I am of the vegan influence, and that is followed up by something along the lines of "I don't mind if you are not vegan, I just care that you try to make ethical decisions and respect my choices and I'll respect yours." John gets it. He has really spoiled me by letting me know that he just does not give a crap about my choices. Not one crap. Maybe even negative crap. He really read between the lines here, because that is exactly what I meant. Grammar shrammar, this guy is a gem.

Let's see what else make us a homerun! A beautifully cropped screenshot of John's profile that I created in my super cool Paint program is below:


OH.MY.GOD.WE.ARE.TWINS. Motocross? Check. Driving aimlessly? Every Tuesday night! Fire?? I LOVE fire!  Oh, the stories I could tell. One time my roommate's cat walked too close to a candle and his tail caught on fire. Ah, the laughs we will share!

I'm having a hard time finishing this post because of a little condition called semantic satiation. Google it. I wrote "fire" too many times and now my brain is frozen. I believe my case of "SS" (as the kids call it) is terminal, and I don't know how much time I have left to putter around on this blog. So let's just get real, John. I don't like sports. Respect and not giving a shit are not synonymous. Fires are very dangerous. Only I can prevent them, and I take that responsibility very seriously.

Also, all this talk of homeruns is making me want to watch some Homestar Runner clips, so I'm gonna let him take it from here:

Baleeted!