Foot Fetish

As predicted, online dating was off to a MAGNIFICENT start. This clever man saw right through my meaningless "About Me" section, littered with my favorite authors, musicians, hobbies and whatnot and he zeroed right in on what this girl is all about: using my bare feet as a method of "peacocking" my future mate.

I'm finding it hard to continue mocking this e mail as it sincerely disturbs me. I find feet to be vile.  I have a plethora of tricks up my sleeve to show a guy that I like him, beginning with my words and ending with physical violence, but at no point do I present my bare foot like a baboon's bum to a potential boyfriend.